Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga…

I have been kind of out of balance lately – the sort of “out of balance” that comes from finding something new and exciting and getting so focused on the possibilities it that it’s hard to think about anything else.  And while the possibilities are still there, it’s time to take a step back and re-balance the rest of my life, integrating the “new and exciting” part into the rest of my everyday life.

This week’s reading for my schoolwork (I am pursuing a degree in Health and Wellness) included a chapter on yoga, which is the topic of my final paper. After doing the reading, it occurred to me that I had been “going to go” to the yoga class at the gym for like three months. So what better time to get some real-world experience for my paper, and bring some balance to my life in the process? I’m a little nervous – it’s something new for me, and I’m not sure what to expect – but going and getting the experience will be better for me than sitting on the couch wondering “should I have gone?”

No matter when I go, there will always be an “I’ve never done this before” class. Why not get it over with sooner, rather than later?

In Which Coyote Re-emerges Into the Light

I knew it had been a while since I had posted anything here, but I had not realized it was over a month. So as I wave apologetically to my pawful of followers (wow, I have followers, how cool is that?), I resolve to be more consistent in updating my little corner of cyberspace. Since my train of fitness thought has completely derailed in recent weeks, maybe a little pseudo-accountability to my followers (seriously… I have followers!) will help me get back on track.

Life recently has been much more focused on work and social stuff than on health and wellness. But since long-term success requires the integration of ALL aspects of my life, I can expand the idea of “fitness” to include finding am overall work-life-health balance instead of just things like “did I go to the gym today?” (no, I didn’t, just in case you were wondering).

I missed the Firefly Run in March because, to be brutally honest, it was too smurfing cold for my taste. I’m not yet die hard enough to embrace “5K at all costs”. Finding FUN, remember? I’m registered for another 5K this Saturday, but probably will not participate. I am dancing at festivals the next two weekends, and with as lax as I have been in exercising, I am afraid I would hurt something at this point.

So the next event is the Diva Dash in May, which was the one I originally had set for my goal event, anyway. Funny how that works out.

Owning the results

For the past couple of weeks, I have gotten on the scale and found a way to rationalize the lower number that I was seeing. “It’s water weight.” “I’m dehydrated.” “It’s hormonal.”

This morning I got on the scale, looked at the number and tried to come up with all the reasons why the number wasn’t accurate…then asked myself, “What the hell are you doing? You’ve been eating better for several weeks, you’ve been staying in your calorie range, you’ve been exercising a bit… Why are you so afraid of success that you’re not willing to acknowledge what you’re doing is making a difference?”

I hate my brain sometimes.

So with the new month comes new ownership of the results, bad AND good. If I can accept the blame when my weight goes up, I damn well better be able to accept the credit when it goes down!

I have 10 pounds to go before I reach the goal I have set for myself. A couple of years ago I got within 1 pound of my goal (but never actually reached it), decided that was close enough, hung out in that weight range or a few months, then the weight crept back up. Now I’m wondering if that’s tied to some fear of success? Or is it my general tendency to leave half-finished projects lying around and never getting back to them?

Or maybe those two things are related. Hmm.

I think an experiment is in order…

All good things…

Well, I knew the downward slide couldn’t last forever. Saw an uptick on the scale this morning, but I’m still down from where I was two weeks ago. It just means I’m going to have to start working for it now.

The challenge will be keeping my emotional balance so I don’t stress eat and overindulge like I did this evening. I’m hoping the relatively light breakfast and lunch I had today will offset the “way too much Pei Wei” that I had for dinner. I think I’m going to take pity on my nerves and not get on the scale tomorrow morning. I’m learning to pick my battles.

I’m supposed to be working on my philosophy homework right now, but since the discussion topic is “the meaning of life” and right now I’m in an uber-pessimistic mood, it really would not be good for my grade to try and contribute to the discussion at the moment. Maybe if I get on the treadmill for a while it will help clear my head.

Or I could go find some more Girl Scout Cookies…

Back in the saddle

The past several days have been crazy busy getting prepared for a big conference next week, as well as doing a multi-team meeting for about 80 employees, and there’s several webinars and conferences coming up that we still need to register people for and promote. While we’re at it, we’re onboarding two new employees, interviewing people for two other positions, and I am up to three managers I support full time, two I support part time, and one that I support on a technical needs basis.

And, by the way, I turned 42 on Friday. Life is not boring.

On Thursday I helped with an 80-person meeting that brought together a bunch of people that I have emailed for years but never met, so it was really cool to be able to put faces with names. I was on the planning calls for the meeting, which meant that I was disqualified from participating in the Teambuilding event before dinner. I was okay with that, because it meant I got to be on the judging team, and the event was a guacamole and margarita making contest. I got to taste-test the fruits of labor for all 10 teams, including the margaritas… and I don’t even drink. It was a lot of fun, and a chance to mingle with a lot of folks, and a chance to actually interact with most of my managers in person – they’re scattered across the country, so I don’t get a lot of face time with them.

Friday was a late day at work, so between that and Thursday I was dog-tired by the time I got home, and made the mistake of dozing off on the couch. That meant I was awake until about 2 in the morning, and then couldn’t motivate Saturday at all. At least not until the evening when I went to karaoke with my friends. That meant another late night (or really, really early morning!) and a hard time with motivation on Sunday.

Long and short of it is that I have not had any real exercise since Wednesday (although cat herding on Thursday counts for something, considering how much walking I was doing at the event), so tonight I got guilted-slash-motivated into spending time on the treadmill while watching “The Biggest Loser”.

It’s frustrating because I am again having all the mental “I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna” demotivators running through my brain, and if I just get off my ass and DO it, it’s not that bad and I actually feel better afterwards. Is there a magic button or pill or something to shut off that negative voice and make it easier to motivate?

Some good things that came out of this week – I do actually have a swimsuit that fits decently enough that I can bring it to the conference and not feel embarrassed in it. It’s a two-piece, but the pieces are modest enough that I could wear them. I’ll pack it on the off chance I have time to use it. Also, the weather for the conference is looking good – highs in the lower 60s and less than a 20% chance of rain. Since many of our activities on Tuesday afternoon are outdoors, fingers crossed that it stays that way. We have hiking, biking, kayaking, golf… all sorts of “get out and get active” things that hopefully will go over well.

Goals for the week – stay within my calorie allotment and do something physical, like another half hour on the treadmill, or maybe some weight lifting at home. Wednesday I have a massage scheduled (90 minutes – woot), and Thursday I can make the Yin/Restorative Yoga class at 7:30 if work isn’t too crazy that day. Friday will be laundry, Saturday is dance class and packing, because Sunday is a travel day.

I’m really looking forward to the conference and seeing all this insanity come together, but I’ll be really really glad when it’s over!!

Coyote moon

Not a lot on the “stuff worth blogging about” front today, mainly because I was up way too late last night finishing up my homework (Procrastinator Extraordinaire, that’s me!), and was yet again busy putting out fires at work today. On the plus side, the overtime will look nice in my next paycheck.

Tonight I tried to stave off the stress eating with stress window shopping, with only mild success. One thing I found that I absolutely love was a shirt with this on it:

coyotemoonshirt

Oh yeah. Can’t wait for this one to get here!

Jam Packed Day

Yesterday I took it easy, doing laundry and housework and vegging with the dogs. As if to make up for it, today has been crazy-busy with no end in sight.

I drink Diet Coke at work (yeah, I know, but I’m hooked on the caffeine and I don’t do coffee), but today it was 1:30 in the afternoon before I even had time to stop long enough to get one. I’m glad I brought my big water bottle to work so I had SOMETHING to drink all morning. By the time I was ready to go home, I was only partway through my second 20 oz bottle.

I have TEAM tonight, and it should be another night of strength training. I don’t know if they’re going to go “as easy on us as last week… We shall see!

When I get home, I get to pay for my lazy day yesterday by finishing all the homework that’s due tonight. That includes a 2-3 page paper that I hopefully know the topic well enough to be able to breeze through!