Stay on target…

I got a pleasant surprise when I got on the scale this morning and “176.0” blinked up at me. Three pounds till I hit what I have nominally identified as my “goal”, and then work to stay there. I’m not sure exactly what all has kicked into gear to help get me here, but whatever it is, I hope it sticks around.

I have been going to Yin Yoga the past several classes, and it has helped me start to feel more focused and rebalanced. This is definitely a good thing, and hopefully something that will only get stronger with time. I need to feel as though I am coming back into myself again, to figure out who this new person is and what she is capable of. It’s more than just the weight. There is an entire sense of “wholeness” that I want to find. Contentment with myself in my own skin and in my own life.

I’m beginning to understand why people go through a mid-life crisis. I’m 42, and it’s hitting me that I’m basically halfway through my working career… providing the idea of “retiring in your 60s” even exists by the time I get there. My dissatisfaction with the way things are is tangible at times – the idea of going “one more week” like this is sometimes unthinkable, let alone another 20, 30, or 40 years.

I’m working on ways to make my life different – I’m pursuing my degree in Health and Wellness and looking at various Coaching programs once I have the degree – but sometimes I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life so I wonder if I’m making the wrong choice or going down the wrong path. But I don’t want to let that fear paralyze me – I need to just keep going, because “going” is better than “staying still”.

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Mayvember

Our local Fox news station has nicknamed today and tomorrow “Mayvember” – we had 80 degrees yesterday, and I don’t think it got out of the 40s today. We are expecting a low in the upper 30s tonight, and I just hope that tomorrow afternoon they aren’t lying when they say it’s supposed to be in the 50s. I have tickets to the baseball game tomorrow night, and I really don’t want to freeze my babushka off.

It could have been worse – I could have gotten tickets to tonight’s game, instead. Brrrr… On the plus side, it is “Bring your dog to the ballpark” tonight (seriously), so a bunch of folks out in the left field seats have furry body warmers sitting with them!

On Monday I went to the Yin Yoga class again, and it went easier both physically and emotionally. Then again, I’m in a little bit better place emotionally, so that helped. I thought I’d be ambitious and go to Slow Burn Yoga last night to see how I liked it. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be doing that again any time soon. I’m not quite up to that level yet.

Four weeks until the Diva Dash in Fort Worth. It will be interesting to see how preparing for it goes – I have three weeks of insanity coming up at work, including a week of “Train the Trainer” classes from May 13-18 for a new system that we are implementing at work, followed by a trip to Houston on the 22nd to teach what I’ve learned, a class in my office in Dallas on the 23rd, Diva Dash on the 25th, teaching in Columbus on the 29th, then teaching in Chicago on the 30th.

It’s a good thing I already have the 31st off of work because I am taking my dogs and running away to Austin for the weekend. If I survive May, I will so deserve it.

Hopefully the weather will be better by then…

Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga…

I have been kind of out of balance lately – the sort of “out of balance” that comes from finding something new and exciting and getting so focused on the possibilities it that it’s hard to think about anything else.  And while the possibilities are still there, it’s time to take a step back and re-balance the rest of my life, integrating the “new and exciting” part into the rest of my everyday life.

This week’s reading for my schoolwork (I am pursuing a degree in Health and Wellness) included a chapter on yoga, which is the topic of my final paper. After doing the reading, it occurred to me that I had been “going to go” to the yoga class at the gym for like three months. So what better time to get some real-world experience for my paper, and bring some balance to my life in the process? I’m a little nervous – it’s something new for me, and I’m not sure what to expect – but going and getting the experience will be better for me than sitting on the couch wondering “should I have gone?”

No matter when I go, there will always be an “I’ve never done this before” class. Why not get it over with sooner, rather than later?

Whirlwinds and roller coasters

I like roller coasters, but not the emotional ones, and the past couple of weeks have had some really intense highs and lows. Ramble follows, not strictly fitness-related.

The conference came off really well, with only a couple of small hiccups. My boss was happy, her boss was happy, and her boss’s peers were happy, so all in all, a good experience. I was able to look at myself in the mirror and admit that I was damned good at what I do, and it’s the first time I can remember that I actually believed it.

On Wednesday, the last day of the conference, I got a call from the place where my dogs were boarding that they were having some digestive problems. I knew rationally that it was probably just stress from boarding, but it still made for a rough last day of the conference worrying about them. I got home Wednesday night and picked them up – they’re fine, it was just stress.

Festival season is just around the corner, so our Performing Company started figuring out which choreographies we are doing at which shows. Rehearsals start next Tuesday, and I’m looking forward to it. It’s also motivation to stay on track with my exercise plan, since there are still some pounds I’d like to lose before the season starts. I am also signed up for some 5K events in the next few months – the night run in March, Foam Fest in April, and the obstacle run in May. Starting March 4 I am joining the three-month TEAM Fitness plan – my left shoulder had been giving me some problems in January, but is feeling much better now so a couple more weeks of rest is probably a good plan.

Wednesday the roller coaster plunged when I learned my mother went to the ER with leg pain. X-rays showed old spinal fractures, and an MRI on Thursday showed some new ones. They aren’t looking at doing surgery yet, so it sounds like the treatment is rest and physical therapy… which she has been doing for the past several months after being hospitalized last summer, so what is this supposed to do that’s different?? I feel horrible and guilty and wondering what I can do to help – even though I know there really isn’t. I wish she didn’t have to go through this. I wish there was some way to just fix it.

Even though it’s almost 10pm, I’m contemplating jumping on the treadmill for a while. Maybe it will help settle my mind. Tomorrow is dance class and the chance to get caught up on the four weeks of class that I’ve missed, tomorrow night is karaoke (and the return of NASCAR), and Sunday there is a dog-related event that I am going to. I have no idea where this roller coaster is going next…