I got a pleasant surprise when I got on the scale this morning and “176.0” blinked up at me. Three pounds till I hit what I have nominally identified as my “goal”, and then work to stay there. I’m not sure exactly what all has kicked into gear to help get me here, but whatever it is, I hope it sticks around.
I have been going to Yin Yoga the past several classes, and it has helped me start to feel more focused and rebalanced. This is definitely a good thing, and hopefully something that will only get stronger with time. I need to feel as though I am coming back into myself again, to figure out who this new person is and what she is capable of. It’s more than just the weight. There is an entire sense of “wholeness” that I want to find. Contentment with myself in my own skin and in my own life.
I’m beginning to understand why people go through a mid-life crisis. I’m 42, and it’s hitting me that I’m basically halfway through my working career… providing the idea of “retiring in your 60s” even exists by the time I get there. My dissatisfaction with the way things are is tangible at times – the idea of going “one more week” like this is sometimes unthinkable, let alone another 20, 30, or 40 years.
I’m working on ways to make my life different – I’m pursuing my degree in Health and Wellness and looking at various Coaching programs once I have the degree – but sometimes I don’t even know what I want to do with the rest of my life so I wonder if I’m making the wrong choice or going down the wrong path. But I don’t want to let that fear paralyze me – I need to just keep going, because “going” is better than “staying still”.
Our local Fox news station has nicknamed today and tomorrow “Mayvember” – we had 80 degrees yesterday, and I don’t think it got out of the 40s today. We are expecting a low in the upper 30s tonight, and I just hope that tomorrow afternoon they aren’t lying when they say it’s supposed to be in the 50s. I have tickets to the baseball game tomorrow night, and I really don’t want to freeze my babushka off.
It could have been worse – I could have gotten tickets to tonight’s game, instead. Brrrr… On the plus side, it is “Bring your dog to the ballpark” tonight (seriously), so a bunch of folks out in the left field seats have furry body warmers sitting with them!
On Monday I went to the Yin Yoga class again, and it went easier both physically and emotionally. Then again, I’m in a little bit better place emotionally, so that helped. I thought I’d be ambitious and go to Slow Burn Yoga last night to see how I liked it. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be doing that again any time soon. I’m not quite up to that level yet.
Four weeks until the Diva Dash in Fort Worth. It will be interesting to see how preparing for it goes – I have three weeks of insanity coming up at work, including a week of “Train the Trainer” classes from May 13-18 for a new system that we are implementing at work, followed by a trip to Houston on the 22nd to teach what I’ve learned, a class in my office in Dallas on the 23rd, Diva Dash on the 25th, teaching in Columbus on the 29th, then teaching in Chicago on the 30th.
It’s a good thing I already have the 31st off of work because I am taking my dogs and running away to Austin for the weekend. If I survive May, I will so deserve it.
Hopefully the weather will be better by then…